What is Your Why?

Hello there!

During dismissal time at the elementary school where I work, our students needed to make their way to their cars quickly so as not to create a major backup in the street. To help make sure they don't dilly-dally their way from the classroom to the pickup line, we started using the phrase, "walk with purpose."

At first, they looked at us with blank faces. So we explained that it means to walk with full attention, focusing on where they were going and why. Guess what, it worked beautifully! We started to use this phrase for everything - teachers taught and students learned "with purpose" - it was a game-changer.

I try to transfer this to everything I do these days.

When I think about what my why - or purpose - for this space here, I realize that right now, in this very moment, my why is two things.

First, I’m having so much fun. Maybe it’s that I’m using my brain differently, or because there's no deadline, or someone standing over my shoulder (aside from Grammarly with all its suggestions that I tend to ignore), telling me how and what to do. I'm creating how I believe it should be, all at the risk that this might be one big epic fail.

It's not lost on me that no one is reading this - after all, I'm not taking any of the advice about SEOs or having AI write for me. And I’m okay with that because I’m getting so much out of this experience (or should I say experiment? Ha!) for me. Maybe someday others will too; that would be a dream come true, but for now, this is exactly what I need.

Another part of my why is that with every entry and moment I spend here, I feel closer to figuring out the life I want. I'm craving a life of flexibility, full of all the things that bring me joy - spending time with my boys, seeing my dad more, diving into creative outlets like watercolor and pottery. This is how I want to spend my life, and I'm on a mission to figure out how to make that possible.

I was recently in a parent-teacher conference and the parent shared how she had been explaining to her 2nd grade child that life is all about doing the things we don't want to do so that we can spend a tiny fraction of our time doing the things we like. I think she was trying to motivate her little 7-year-old, who was upset that he couldn't have recess all day long. At first, I thought, "Huh, that's a good point." And I started to rethink all that I've been doing here. Should I be more practical? What am I doing, thinking I can have a life full of what makes me happiest? Should I be focusing on changing my attitude and pushing through each soul-sucking day so I can eventually get to doing the things I love? As the day went on, I eventually found myself returning to the place I'm in and reaffirmed that I don't want to live with that perspective anymore. I want every moment of my life to be as fulfilling and meaningful as possible, and to me, that means surrounding myself with the people and doing the things that align with my values and what I believe in.

With each of these entries I write, I'm realizing I may have lost myself a long time ago, and all of this is about getting closer to rediscovering who I am and what's important to me. And perhaps a new purpose. Is this a midlife crisis? Maybe. Although I prefer the newer term “midlife chrysalis”. This interview in the Agesit with Chip Conely explains it beautifully.

What about you? What's your purpose these days?